Aerial Failure

So today's 'Potential Progression' is quite novel in that it takes place 20,000 feet in the sky. Did being off the ground allow me to spread my game-spittin' wings? Let's find out and get into today's...

Potential Progression:

Airplane Girl: sexy librarian/academic-type; So I'm sitting on the airplane, next to an open seat, when this aforementioned "sexy librarian" looking girl (who coincidentally, my wandering eyes had taken the pleasure in noticing earlier while boarding) asks if she can sit next to me. Knowing that I'd probably never see her again, I had to take the chance - I told her she could. I had only two hours to make my move. Pre-flight, conditions were favorable. I don't think she realized it, but the armrest was in the upright position (ergo, there would be no boundaries getting between me and my passionate aerial affair). Also, I was wearing my adorable lumberjack-esque flannel shirt (see picture below). So as we're about to take-off, I noticed she was looking through a folder labeled "Papers to Read." Now here's where it gets good... luckily I was travelling with my own collection of academic articles in my book bag and proceeded to take one out (an exquisite piece on a detailed corporate valuation method). Can you say smooth? I'm not completely certain, but I'm convinced she was writhing with pleasure (sexual, no less) on the inside. I tried extremely hard to make it appear like I was real digging the article, but my efforts went unnoticed. I even broke out the Kindle as a potential conversation-starter but got nothing. Honestly, to make a long flight short, absolutely zero progress was made. I hate myself. I had nothing, absolutely nothing to lose and I still managed to puss out. Looking back, should've asked her what her papers were about, where she went to school, what she was studying, when did she want to hook up in the restroom...
RESULT: FAIL - ON LAND OR IN THE AIR, I'LL NEVER MAKE PROGRESS


Fear the flannel


I've just been told that for the next twelve months, Adam Roper, will be my designated "Wing Man." Will this result in future positive progressions for John? Forecast: doubtful.

For those of you out there that enjoy the blog, I'd recommend you pick up anything by author/comedian David Sedaris. The man is brilliant (and slightly perverted). My favorite quote of his so far: "If you're looking for sympathy you can find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." [Insert 'Summer Reading' plug]

Bonjour,

- JJ

P.S. If anyone's interested, I'd be willing to engage in any sort of 'summer fling.' Just saying...